Psychotherapist Howard Todd-Collins says depression in new fathers is often triggered by being emotionally unprepared. Photo: Angela Wylie
As a new father, Kham Sirimanotham’s sense of duty towards his young family was paramount. His wife had been diagnosed with postnatal depression, so he was the one who did the shopping, made decisions and cuddled the baby when his wife was too listless to care.
With little family support, he juggled the intense needs of his wife and baby with his job as a civil servant. As the milestones passed and his daughter grew into a toddler, he found it increasingly hard to cope. Anxiety gnawed at his stomach, he lost weight and became inert: ‘‘In my darkest days all I could think of was going to sleep and hoping it would go away. But then I couldn’t sleep.’’
Finally it clicked that he too was suffering postnatal depression. Two years after his daughter was born, he visited the GP and was given antidepressants.
Kham Sirimanotham: ‘In my darkest days all I could think of was going to sleep.’ Photo: Steven Siewert
After a few weeks on medication he was feeling worse. Trying to manage the raw needs of his daughter, along with the constant worry he felt towards his wife, left him feeling hollowed out. As his symptoms worsened, his GP referred him to a psychiatric ward, where he spent three weeks learning to listen to what his body was trying to tell him.